I eventually discovered that coots aren’t ducks at all. They just blend in the way a toupee blends in—convincing from a distance, questionable up close. Ducks belong to the Anatidae family, while coots are in the Rallidae family, which means they are technically rails. In a genealogical sense, they’re more closely related to cranes than to mallards. But try telling that to a coot surrounded by actual ducks.